When I read motivational quotes about life which tell me that life isn’t lived unless I DO something meaningful or TRAVEL – I feel a little inadequate.. which is sad, and makes me feel useless and boring.
Then, I remember that even though I haven’t DONE anything profound with my life (in the eyes or minds of others maybe?) or TRAVELLED too far (as much as I’d love to!) or had a great career, I have done other things with my life that are just as significant and important to ME.
~ Most Importantly ~ I have an amazing family, loving and supportive parents and two wonderful daughters.
My oldest daughter Charlene is 25 next month and was born with Cerebral Palsy affecting the right side of her body, and she later developed Epilepsy a few years ago while living in an Independent Living bungalow with other disabled people. She is now back living at home with me and my younger daughter Helen, who turned 19 last month. Charlene helps me as much as she can around the home, because I have M.E. (Myalgic encephalomyelitis), brought on by a particularly nasty case of viral meningitis just over 5 years ago.
Helen broke her arm in a car crash just over a year ago, and had to have an operation to fit metal plates and a screw (she had the screw removed in October), and it’s been a helluva journey for all of us. Helen has never let it get in her way though (I think I was more emotionally scarred by her accident than she was – I heard it, and heard her screams) she is an amazing girl, works hard every day at her job, and has just acquired her first horse, Derrin, a Cob x Arab.
At the same time as Helen’s accident, my mum had what should have been a routine operation but ended up in & out of hospital having to have a second op, even went into hospital again on Christmas Day. Thankfully she is well on the mend now and back to her old mischievous ways, but as she’s 71 this month the whole episode of Helen’s crash/Mum’s illness has made me so much more aware of the mortality of us all.
My dad takes everything in his stride. I have to grudgingly say he is my stepdad, but he has been my real dad since I was around 6 years old. He has endless patience, will do anything for me, and has taught me lots. He is always there for me. That is the essence of a real father. I love him to bits, even though he can be an annoying, piss-taking git!
So when I ask myself (as I have done in my darkest moments) “What is the point of my life? What good do I do anyone?” I just have to think about my family. We have a lovely home, we have food on the table, I’ve raised two fantastic young women, I am a purpose in my parent’s lives, and we all help each other and support each other as much as we can. Plus I have a menagerie of animal family relying on me!
FAMILY and HOME are my POINT in Life